health or horror hair

what physical attribute do women stress over the most? face? body? hair? i will admit, i have a sort of obsession with my hair. it requires constant thought. how will i wear it, when will i wash it, color it, cut it.

in my adult life i’ve been just as obsessed with but less motivated to care for my body (read shape, weight and dress size) through exercise. to my credit i have slowly but surely improved my diet, now eating like an adult instead of a 5 year old. but exercising regularly (read sweating) has not been a desire and dare i say a priority.

yes, i am one of those people that put her hair before her health. very much in denial about how much physical activity i actually need to be in shape, i’ve often chosen to have my hair look nice rather than work up a sweat and burn calories. my reasoning (i will refrain from calling this an excuse because i think it is a legitimate claim) goes beyond simply being lazy. it’s more like choosing between the lesser of two evils and focusing on the most efficient way to feel good about yourself.

you see, when you are over weight and nothing fits and nothing looks right, it can get you down. you’re not likely to get compliments on how you look in clothes, your feel unattractive and avoid all cameras, but your hair, your hair can look just as good as any “skinny bitch” that walks the earth. in many ways, if you weigh a lot, your hair is all you’ve got. it’s the only thing that will make you look decent enough to go out to work, a party, and sometimes just to the corner store. even if you look like a sack of potatoes in a paper bag, someone can say “at least she did her hair”… because being big AND having a mess on top of your head will get you even more dirty looks from passers by a la “she has the nerve to sit down and take up that much room on the train and she looks a hot mess!”… i can say this true because i’ve said it myself, sometimes about myself!

and so as i get older and all good things about nature start to turn against me, i now have to change my priorities and really make an effort to be healthy. i also started a new job that allows for better work/life balance. but that means i have to seriously “deal” with my hair on almost a daily basis. what’s the big deal? you might be wondering. just go to the gym and wash your hair and be done with it. well, my friend, it’s not quite that simple. let me break it down for you.

in case you weren’t aware, i am black. my hair is naturally kinky (to describe it as curly would be bullshit). i have been getting relaxers for about 20 years.

please, spare me of any comments about the joys of natural hair. that’s not my deal right now and i’m certain this issue would be compounded 10x if my hair wasn’t chemically straightened. i know this because i have vivid memories of the hair washing ritual i went through as a child… getting my hair washed in the sink, then pressed at the kitchen table… a process that could sometimes take the entire weekend. ok it felt like it took that long, but it surely was more than 2 hours, i can’t say for sure because i probably fell asleep. actually, i still fall asleep when i’m getting my hair done… at any rate, when people assume you don’t have a relaxer and you do, your hair might be thick… that’s all i’m saying. so i have no desire to go back, black to my roots at this point in my life.

sometimes i wear my hair in a “textured” style by braiding or twisting it and letting it dry. (it’s time consuming and my fingers get tired and the right combination of products are required so it’s not quite as simple as putting in a few braids.) i do this to avoid heat, during the summer when it’s hot and i wash my hair often (ie. more than 1x a week), and occasionally in between touch-ups. i like my hair in this style, but it barely lasts for more than a day. i eventually end up with it back in a ponytail. keep in mind that ponytails can be bad because it puts pressure on the same part of the hair, so you have to change the position and not have them too tight… problem with that is sometimes you really NEED to have your hair in a tight ponytail, otherwise you will look crazy. there’s also a school of thought against wearing the hair down because the friction created against your clothes will damage the ends. so, don’t wear it up, but don’t wear it down…

that’s just the tip of the iceberg. basically “sweating my hair out” causes major styling issues because i can’t wash it every day. that would be both unhealthy and impossible to fit into my schedule.  i will never have it as easy as the girl in the above photo. so what’s the solution?

i have no idea.

all i know is i spent $100+ getting my hair done yesterday and today i completely, i mean completely, sweated it out playing tennis. my plan is to create some sort of brush/wrap/pin curl situation and hope it works out.

getting exercise feels great, but i cannot promise that i will not skip a few workouts for the sake of having my hair look nice for a social or work event. again, just sayin…

i’m not sure what the big deal is about zumba, it’s pretty much just dancing. you could also hit up your local latin club. but i guess it’s fun. i will be in attendance at the next class!