putting it to bed

no more forwards, no more facebook or messageboard posts on the topic. below you will find my 7-point response to the rather viral nightline clip about black women and our dating “woes” and the ludicrous assertion that we should be taking advice on life and love from a comedian (a not so funny one at that). advice from comics should stop at – take life less seriously and laugh a little.

in case you haven’t seen it (please scroll down and don’t give it any more hits if you have) …

[the video has been deleted from youtube since my original post]

1. although true, this is one story we can leave in 2009 along with the gosselins, sarah palin and tiger’s 100 mistresses. it returns in one form or another every 6-8 months and guess what? the story hasn’t changed for at least the last 10 years. mainstream media loves to report on this (watch it more than once and you’ll notice the smirk on mcfadden’s face). sistas are doing so well all they can do is scare us into thinking we’ll never find love. really? come harder, please.

2. women of all hues need to understand that everyone wasn’t meant to get married. accept that and keep living your life.

3. since when was steve harvey a legitimate authority on dating and relationships? he stole the concept of his book, failed at 2 marriages, screwed his last wife out of lots of $$… mr. potato head can miss me with his vintage advice.

4. this 6 minute piece fails to address the number of undesirable black women out there. i’m just sayin… all of us are not “wifey” material or a “good catch”

5. single black women just can’t win. you date someone who loses their job they say your standards are too low. insist he makes some bread? standards are too high. go to speed dating – you’re trying to hard. stay home and mind your business – you’re not putting yourself out there. people assume that all women have these superficial financial and aesthetic expectations and that simply isn’t true. it simplifies a very complex issue that has more to do with changing socio-economics and gender roles than anything else.

6. black folk still get married. i see it every day on facebook. 🙂 the vast majority of guys i’ve dated, even once or twice, are now married.

7. when will the focus shift from women to men? we’ve identified the problem. where’s the solution? instead of blaming women- “she lets him treat her like that” or “it’s his mama’s fault”, how about men step up and to the name they’ve been given?

that’s all for now. i’ll leave you with a final thought from stevie. 🙂

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-z2LNsifEzg]