c.r.e.a.m.

published today, but written last night

i said this wouldn’t be a daily account of my life. good thing i’m editor and chief because this post is based on something that happened to me today.

sooooo… this morning i went into work late. i had to wait on the super to turn the gas on and light the pilot in the stove. this was an extreme inconvenience for a sleepy grouchy krisirisi, but it did give me a chance to check a few things online (well, check the stats of the blog really), blend a dime size amount of foundation and apply some mascara before leaving. i planned to get drinks after work with a friend. a little makeup would complement my freshly washed, but not quite styled, hair.

my office is in a rather highly trafficked area. to get to the elevator you have to wade through lots of people. i do this swiftly and with great precision as many of these people are slow poke tourists or au pairs stuck with snotty nosed toddlers that can barely walk, and i am an impatient “new yorker”.

i passed a man wearing blue construction worker clothes. he had a hospital mask around his neck, but not covering his mouth. as he passed me he said “good morning beautiful”, or something to that effect. i was caught off guard, resulting in a smile. i looked back and he said something else. then i heard him say “you got 15?”. at this point i probably should have done what i usually do – ignore. but i looked back again with hesitation and that was all the invitation he needed.

he walked over and went full steam ahead. at this point i didn’t know what to do. i remember saying i had to get to work, but that did not deter him. i kept walking and he kept walking with me. if not 15, he was going to get at least 4 minutes of my time.

he introduced himself and asked my name. do i tell him a fake name? no, that’s childish and i might see him again if he’s in the building. tell him my gov’t ? my nickname? i went with the gov’t.

it was like he was freestyling… “that’s a very interesting name. like christ. are you christ like? do you believe in christ?” oy vey.

he continued, “you have pretty eyelashes”… maybe it IS maybelline! i thanked him for the compliment. but it didn’t stop there, “nice smile, natural”. i’m pretty sure he was referring to my hair with the “natural” comment but no, i don’t have a natural. apparently i have a relaxer that’s a bit too up tight. (kidding)…

at this point i’m almost at my elevator. this must end. he asked for my number, but somehow in the conversation with himself, i was able to avoid answering. he eventually got back to it and i said i didn’t give my number out. he’s holding his phone, text ready, the entire time.

what did he look like? he wasn’t bad looking from what i could tell. i avoided looking directly at him and tried not to make eye contact. we’re now steps away from my elevator. this is where it gets tricky. i couldn’t let anyone from work see me exchange numbers with this guy. not because of how he looked, just because… well who wants to be seen getting picked up? he was searching for paper, which i had in my purse but didn’t volunteer. he already had a pencil behind his ear. he pulled something out of his wallet and started to write… is that? no… is… that’s money! he was writing his name and number on a dollar bill.

with a beyonce “oh no kanye” look on my face i said “oh no! i don’t want to take your money.” he responded that’s all he had to write on.

fair enough, i guess.

he said “just make sure you call me.”

instead of going up my elevator i took a slight detour to another elevator that takes me to my floor, but isn’t used by just my company. i rounded the corner to my desk flattered, yet flabbergasted. what a way to start the day!

as i reflect on the day’s happenings, i wonder…

would i be more impressed if he had written on a $5 or $10? is this symbolic of how little he would give me or that he would give me his last dollar?

later that day i stopped suddenly, thinking i had lost his number to a rare vending machine run. but i didn’t. it was still there so i put it in my pocket, away from the other singles in my purse.

before you ask for the update on what i did with the number, i’ll tell you that i’m not going to call. while i admire his tenacity, his approach raised a flag. i may not be hard on the eyes, some might even my mom would say i’m cute (i did get a few more bill belamy circa love jones “wassupppp’s” before i got home tonight)… but  i’m not that cute. i’m no halle berry and i’m ok with that.

i’m going to keep the dollar, though. because before i went to – there must be something wrong with him, i went to a romantic place. a place where mr. perfect laid eyes on me and knew he couldn’t let me get away.

happy romantic places are hard to come by these days and if i can get there for just $1? i’ll take it.

r.i.p. mj

and for the hip hop challenged, find c.r.e.a.m. reference here